I promised myself a few things when I initially started Unexpected Grace, and never expected I would share them. (Unexpected..HA) But, for some reason, I feel it’s necessary today. I think it shows both the realness of my humanity and that vulnerability is okay, and holds me accountable to what is most important.
I promised myself that the goal would never be to get “blog famous” or for that matter, “Facebook or Instagram famous.” Ok, so- “Social Media famous.”
That might sound silly, but in the very large world of blogging, it’s actually difficult for that to not be the ultimate goal. The lady bloggers that have inspired me the most- and continue to inspire me daily- are what I would consider to be “Social Media famous.” It’s so fascinating to me how they constantly come up with all of these inspiring things to say to their readers. They write so eloquently and with phrases and words I’ve never read together like that before. Where do they come up with this stuff? For me personally, their words hit my heart so deeply every single day. So of course, I always hope and pray mine do the same for other people. Why? Well, because who am I writing for if it’s not for other people to read it?
Enter the problem. It’s a good thing that I desire to positively impact people. I think that is a gift that comes straight from God. The issue becomes when that is the ONLY reason I write. It’s an attempt to make people think I’m great and my thoughts are powerful. After doing an online bible study at the end of Spring/early Summer, I felt exhausted. Completely wiped out from writing and pouring my heart into something that I felt was going nowhere fast. I was getting wonderful little messages from people saying how much they were being impacted by the writing, but it didn’t do much for me. (Which in itself is a warning sign, in my opinion. It didn’t do much for ME. Ick). So, I decided to take a little break over the Summer and just see where it went from there. I’ve thought about it several times and wondered where my passion had gone, and had even considered that maybe Unexpected Grace was just for a short season in my life. I didn’t want it to be over, but I also didn’t want to write.
I’ve said from day 1, that if no one ever reads my blog, it’s okay and I won’t let it get me down. It’s between me and God anyway, right?
That’s so much easier said than done. Of course I want you to read my blog, and I want you to think it’s great, and that I’m great. That being said, I’m thankful for the exhaustion I experienced. I knew I would hear something from God at the end of this season, and I’m hearing it this morning as I type these words. “Your heart is right, but you’re exhausted because you are doing it more for the sake of impressing people.” God is so much easier to impress, you guys. No offense.
(Side note: the God I hear is loving, soft, and comforting. Not angry or upset with me. I know that because of the amount of peace I feel in writing these words. I have an answer and that’s all I wanted).
All of that being said, I feel free. Free from the thoughts that have been inside my mind telling me that if I don’t get so many “likes” or comments, that the blog is no good. Or not inspiring someone. Or not changing someone’s life for the better. Or not doing anything at all.
I’m excited for this new season. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s happening on the upcoming birth of my favorite season of the year. (Fall can’t get here soon enough)!
This time around, I’m not making myself any promises. I’m just going to write and enjoy life, and enjoy the words that God puts in my mind to share with you. I will trust Him to do what He wants to do with it and leave it at that.
I hope you have a wonderful day and find some sort of little Unexpected Grace somewhere. Don’t forget that sometimes, you have to look for it.